One of the worst dates ever I accidentally went out with probably the only Republican in my town.  So, his name is Billy and he lives in the same building as one of my friends.  We make plans to meet up at one of my fav bars and right off the bat he’s super touchy feely.  He keeps touching my lower back and trying to hold my hand.  I keep pulling my hand away.  He asks me if holding hands is weird and I try to explain that…um…yes, I don’t know you, and if I just met you, trying to hold my hand is a little too intimate.  He backs off for a little bit but keeps trying….(weirdo).  Anyways, I really can’t remember what tipped me off (I was several vodka sodas in) but I realize this man is a Republican.  Not only is this man a Republican (I can tolerate that) but he’s a pro-war, pro-life, gun toting Republican (i’ll get to the pro-life thing later…).

So we spend the next hour or so debating the war.  His stance is that Bush was dealt a bum deal.  I just can’t believe people actually still think that the war was necessary.  I’m trying to hide the look of disgust and horror because I’m slowly realizing if he’s this pro Bush and McCain…he’s gotta be pro-life too.  Ok, ok, I know this is a lot of political ranting here.  Sorry.  All through the debate, he keeps saying stuff like, “wow, I like listening to you talk.”  “you really know your stuff”.  Well, yes.  I happen to be an informed individual…is that so surprising?  I’m sucking down vodka sodas like there’s no tomorrow….which hopefully explains why I let him kiss me.  (BARF!)  So, yeah…there was some making out at the bar and somehow it was decided that we’d go back to his place for some wine and cigars….sigh.

So on the way back to his place we’re still talking politics and I straight up ask him if he’s pro-life.  We both know he is and to his credit he admits it to which I say, “I’m sorry, i can never date a man who’s pro-life”.  He starts back peddling but whatever, its waaay too late.  I’m explaining why I feel that way as we make our way into his apartment where, I shit you not, he dims the lights and puts on the Smooth Jazz station on the digital TV.  Smooth Jazz people!  WTF?  This guy is 31.  And this is about where the night takes its final turn for the worse. (more…)